I came across a fantastic article that debunks female friendship myths:
The Top 4 Myths About Female Friendships by Rori Boyce
Movies and television shows don't exactly portray female friendships in the most realistic way, so Boyce clarifies some of these common myths. Below is an excerpt of myth #2 and #3:
"Myth #2: Being Friends Means Being in Constant Contact (Facebook Doesn't Count)
Honestly, I haven't had this kind of friendship since I was in college
and it was much easier back then because we all lived in the same dorm,
took the same classes, and did the same thing on Friday night. And yet, I
have found myself questioning how "good" my friendships are because I
don't have this kind of constant daily contact with the friends I would
consider the closest.
In truth, some days I don't even have
anything all that interesting to share with my husband, who lives in the
same house, shares most aspects of my life, and does the same thing I
do on Friday night. So the idea that I would have something meaningful
to share with my friends that often seems a little silly. It is okay to
have as much or as little contact as each individual friendship
requires. Not talking every day or even every week is not a sign that
you aren't good friends; it is a sign that you are grown women with busy
lives.
Myth #3: Real Friendships are Easy to Sustain
The older I have grown, the less true this has become. There was a time
that friendships just "were" and I didn't have to work too hard to make
them or sustain them... it was called high school and had everything to
do with proximity. But in the grown-up world, we are raising children,
running errands, and hoping to find a single hour for ourselves so we
can go to yoga. This leaves little time for female bonding, heartfelt
chats, and girls night out.
In truth, having friends, keeping
friends, and especially making new friends requires time, energy, and
effort. We live in a world where meeting new people and establishing new
relationships of any kind is hard work. This is why so many people have
turned to online dating to find a mate. Friendships are no different
than romantic relationships in this regard which is why websites geared toward helping people make friends
are flourishing. Let go of the idea that "real" friendship only happens
organically; it is as mythical as the idea that all you need to make a
marriage work is love."
It's important to examine these myths since a lot of women put pressure on themselves for not having a gazillion friends or for not seeing their friends every week. Especially as we get older and have limited time, friendships will ebb and flow, which is not a good or bad thing...it is what it is. The more we acknowledge the reality of our friendships and let go of these unobtainable expectations, the more we appreciate the people in our life and allow the friendship to flow naturally. Furthermore, as long as we're putting ourselves out there, reaching out to our friends and investing time and energy, the friendship will maintain itself. There is no "perfect" friendship, and if we're willing and able to accept that, we'll find we are much happier in our relationships.
What do you think about the article? Do you agree with these myths?
