Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com

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Monday, December 17, 2012

Long-Distance Friendships

Does the heart grow fonder with distance?  I've found that it's unlikely for friendships to blossom and become stronger with distance; I've experienced many long-distance friendships that wavered and ultimately crumbled over time.  It's sad, yet life happens, we get busy and so it's not unusual for our long-distance friends to be the ones who are let go first.  It's not good or bad; it simply is (a common phrase my Mother uses).

However, I have a couple of friends with whom the friendship deepened with distance; it's because we both put in the time and effort to keep up with one another, and to make sure we're including one another the best we can.  Is it difficult?  Yes.  But I wouldn't have it any other way because these friendships mean the world to me and I could not imagine my life without these people in it.

It definitely takes a certain person to maintain a long-distance friendship: you have to enjoy e-mailing, texting, Skyping and/or talking on the phone.  Some people I know dislike talking on the phone, so that may prove difficult for those who don't have other options.  You also have to be okay with not knowing every detail of your friend's life, such that you're most likely not involved in the day to day things because that would be extremely time consuming and difficult to explain - for example, have you tried telling someone a story who wasn't there and she doesn't get it?  It's one of those, "You had to have been there to understand!" type of stories that are challenging to share with someone who clearly wasn't there.

On the other hand, some of you enjoy long-distance friendships because when you do talk, you are able to re-connect and get caught up on each other's lives.  And it can feel great to have those positive moments with a friend when your world is feeling a little upside down.  It truly depends on the type of person you are and how you maintain your friendships, both around you and from afar.

What's been your experience with long-distance friendships?  Have they been positive, negative or both? 

1 comment:

  1. I agree with your statement. However, I think this can carry over to friends who live close to you too. I have had the fortune to live both close to and far from all of my dear friends and although the ones are close by make it easier it almost takes more time and effort to make plans with them! Lives always get in the way but all relationships require some sort of commitment and energy, near or far.