Friendship Quote of the Week

"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely."
~Pam Brown 

Roles in Relationships

We all have different roles in our friendships.  Some of us are the ones who our friends come to for advice, whereas, there are those who go to their friends for advice.  There are those friends who our are talking buddies or walking buddies or those friends we are assured we'll have a good time with because they are social butterflies.

 

I often look at my own role; in some friendships, I tend to be more serious, whereas in others, I can be more silly and laid back.  A consistent role that I find is I tend to be the one who initiates the phone calls, get togethers, emails, etc.  I sometimes wonder what would happen if I stopped initiating: would the friend contact me or think something was off?  Or would the friendship fizzle out due to lack of contact?  I don't want to "test" my friendships, but sometimes I wonder what would happen if I stopped being the one to reach out, especially with those who rarely reach out to me.

 

What intrigues me is the roles we have, and how it can be so easy to stay in these roles once the friendship has been established. 

Think about it for a second: what role do you tend to have in your closest friendships?  Is there a common theme?  Have you ever switched roles?

Grandparents.com Article

I'm excited to share an article I was interviewed for:

7 Friends You'd Be Better Off Without by Sally Stich

From the friend who doesn't get back to you (even though she's tech-savvy) to the friend who can dish it but can't take it, these common scenarios can be challenging to manage.  The goal is to have friends who can engage in healthy and honest communication when there is an issue.  If not, it's time to take another look at the friendship.

Have you had to end a friendship over any of the above scenarios?  If yes, what happened?

Working With Women...Oy Vey!

I often hear women discuss their experiences working with and/or for other women, and sometimes, it's not too positive.  I did a google search and found a couple of articles about this topic, and want to share one about female bosses I found rather interesting: 

Why a female boss can be a woman's worst nightmare by Jill Foster  

An exerpt:

"Forget the sisterhood. Forget smashing a hole through the glass ceiling and throwing a rope ladder down to her younger female colleagues. The Queen Bee is alive and well and — watch out — possibly sitting at the desk next to you.

‘A Queen Bee is someone who has worked her way up to the top in a male-dominated organisation, and she’s probably got there by behaving how a man would behave — appearing tough and not at all soft and mushy,’ says psychologist Professor Cary Cooper, of the Lancaster University Management School. 

‘She’s unlikely to mentor younger women because she quite likes her unique position, and may feel threatened by younger females rising up the ranks. 

‘She had to work hard to get to where she is, so she’s not about to give other women a helping hand — they have to work their way up just as she did.'"

It's fascinating (or depressing, whichever way you interpret the article) that women may not be as helpful with their women colleagues.  I can only speak from my experience, and I've had positive female role models; in one particular job, I became great friends with my female co-workers, which now after reading the above article, I feel grateful for!

I wonder if it depends on what field you're in - if it's competitive - as in The Devil Wears Prada.  If you're always eyeing the person next to you because you're afraid she's going to get the next promotion, that can create an unhealthy work environment, and definitely not help a friendship.  There's a difference between healthy competition and cut-throat, conniving and manipulative competition.

What has been your experience working with and/or for women?  Do you prefer having a male or female boss?  Have you worked with a "Queen Bee"?

I Challenge You!

The recent tragic events at the Boston Marathon remind us that life is short and can change in the blink of an eye.  Thus, I challenge you to reach out to your friends and family and let them know you're thinking about them.  We get so caught up in our busy lives that we forget to reach out and let those we care about know how we feel. 

So take a moment, pick up your phone and make that call (yes, an actual call).  Trust me, you'll be glad you did.

Yahoo! Voices Article on a Long-Distance Friendship

I'm excited to share an article I wrote for Yahoo! Voices:

An Ode to My Friend, Mary

Do you have any long-distance friends?  If so, how have you managed to maintain the friendship?

Upcoming Event: Book Signing

If you are in the area, please feel free to attend!

Book signing on April 9th at Desert Camp Community Center from 10 am - 12 pm.  I will be discussing the book, as well as signing copies ($12.95 available for purchase).

Click here for more information

Hope to see you there!