Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com

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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Flirty Friends and Boyfriends

Here's a difficult situation: you attend a party with your boyfriend and your BFF starts being flirtatious with him - for example, she compliments his oh-so dreamy ocean blue eyes or continues to make comments about how good looking he is.  Ummmmm, awkward!  This is a challenging situation because many of us would not know what to say in the moment - do you call out your BFF and tell her to back off or do you pull your boyfriend closer to you?  Probably no to both!  You may look like the crazy one.
When alcohol is involved, many people get touchy-feely and so it's not unusual for it to be seen as flirting.  But when it's your boyfriend and your BFF is the one telling him how amazing he looks in his new pair of jeans, that can be a bit unsettling.  If it's a good enough friend, I believe it's worthwhile to say something to her.  Maybe she was unaware that it made you uncomfortable, maybe she was nervous about meeting your boyfriend and didn't know how to act normally or maybe she had way too much to drink and doesn't even remember what she said.  Or perhaps no one has ever told her about this behavior in fear of hurting her feelings.  Lucky you if you're the first one to break the news to her!  In all seriousness, the goal is to confront her in a calm and respectful way, and to let her know how you felt regardless of her reasons; it may be a good learning experience for her.
This brings up a tough issue when it comes to friends and how easily jealousy can arise, especially between two female friends.  No woman wants to feel threatened when she hangs out with her boyfriend and BFF.
Have you experienced this situation?  If so, how did you handle it? 

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The Things We Do For Our Best Friends...

When it comes to our BFFs, we go to great lengths to be there for them; we provide a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen and offer to pull back their hair when they get sick from too much alcohol.  We do these things because we care and also because they'd do the same for us...at least that's the hope!

Below is a list taken from 20 Things I'd Do for My Best Friends:

"1. Be designated driver on a girls night out because I know you need a glass of wine (or shot of vodka) more than I do -- and trust me, I need one.

2. Say, “That skirt/dress/jumpsuit makes your butt look fat,” when that skirt/dress/jumpsuit actually makes your butt look fat.

3. Explain that jumpsuits only look good on Rihanna and Rachel Zoe — and encourage you to stop wearing them.

4. Pretend I need you to fix my bra strap to save you from a tedious conversation with a boring mom at the playground or that annoying guy at Starbucks.

5. Despise someone I barely know because of something they’ve done to you, and then treat them kindly if you decide to forgive them."

Read more at the link above!

What's the craziest thing you've done for your BFF?

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


Many of you know I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook...and social media, for that matter.  I go back and forth with how helpful or how hurtful it can be, especially in how it impacts our relationships.  Thus, below is a great article to share about this very topic (and you may even recognize a familiar name in the article!).

Are You Suffering from Social Network Syndrome?

What are your thoughts about social network syndrome?  Do you feel you have a good balance with how you utilize social media?

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Awkward Situations in Friendships

Here's an awkward situation: when you don't like your friend's friends.  We've all been there: we meet our BFF's friends and have this thought: "How is she friends with these people?!"  There is a mix of emotions: shock, disappointment, and then a realization that this may pose a difficult situation for the friendship.  Uh oh!

This happened to me a few years ago; I met one of my friend's friends from her graduate program.  I really did not like them, but I had to find a way to move past those feelings and be nice; I felt my friend deserved that from me.  However, it took a lot of super human strength not to react to certain comments these women would say, and on top of that, not to say something to my friend.  I was surprised that my friend was hanging out with these women - not simply because she attended class with them, but because she chose to spend time with them outside of class.  I found these women superficial and judgmental - qualities that I didn't see in my friend.  But how do you tell your friend that?  Enter ridiculously awkward and painful conversation...no thank you!

In this situation, I'm not too sure you can say anything; it really depends on the friendship.  Unless you are 100% sure of your friendship, your BFF could feel hurt and then be left with not knowing how to handle social situations because if she invites her friends, that will include these people...and now she knows how you really feel.  The friend is put in a bad spot because now that she knows how you feel, that may limit what she plans and who she invites.  Thus, you may end up seeing her less or being invited to events less over time.  Or she may try to balance out her time and make plans to see you minus those friends-we-shall-not-speak-of.

There's no easy way to handle this type of situation.  As adults, we try to be mature and get along with everyone, but come on, it's hard to do!  Imagine your BFF telling you she doesn't like your school/work/gym/mommy friends...how would you react?

What's been your experience with this?  Have you ever told your friend you don't like her friends?  If so, what did that conversation look like and how did it go?  Did it help or hurt the friendship?