Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com

Follow me: https://www.facebook.com/Surviving-Female-Friendships-839907162798307/?ref=hl https://twitter.com/ZangaraNicole

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Grandparents.com Article

I'm excited to share an article I was interviewed for:

7 Friends You'd Be Better Off Without by Sally Stich

From the friend who doesn't get back to you (even though she's tech-savvy) to the friend who can dish it but can't take it, these common scenarios can be challenging to manage.  The goal is to have friends who can engage in healthy and honest communication when there is an issue.  If not, it's time to take another look at the friendship.

Have you had to end a friendship over any of the above scenarios?  If yes, what happened?

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Working With Women...Oy Vey!

I often hear women discuss their experiences working with and/or for other women, and sometimes, it's not too positive.  I did a google search and found a couple of articles about this topic, and want to share one about female bosses I found rather interesting: 

An excerpt:
"Forget the sisterhood. Forget smashing a hole through the glass ceiling and throwing a rope ladder down to her younger female colleagues. The Queen Bee is alive and well and — watch out — possibly sitting at the desk next to you.

‘A Queen Bee is someone who has worked her way up to the top in a male-dominated organisation, and she’s probably got there by behaving how a man would behave — appearing tough and not at all soft and mushy,’ says psychologist Professor Cary Cooper, of the Lancaster University Management School. 

‘She’s unlikely to mentor younger women because she quite likes her unique position, and may feel threatened by younger females rising up the ranks. 

‘She had to work hard to get to where she is, so she’s not about to give other women a helping hand — they have to work their way up just as she did.'"

It's fascinating (or depressing, whichever way you interpret the article) that women may not be as helpful with their women colleagues.  I can only speak from my experience, and I've had positive female role models; in one particular job, I became great friends with my female co-workers, which now after reading the above article, I feel grateful for!

I wonder if it depends on what field you're in - if it's competitive - as in The Devil Wears Prada.  If you're always eyeing the person next to you because you're afraid she's going to get the next promotion, that can create an unhealthy work environment, and definitely not help a friendship.  There's a difference between healthy competition and cut-throat, conniving and manipulative competition.

What has been your experience working with and/or for women?  Do you prefer having a male or female boss?  Have you worked with a "Queen Bee"?

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I Challenge You!

The recent tragic events at the Boston Marathon remind us that life is short and can change in the blink of an eye.  Thus, I challenge you to reach out to your friends and family and let them know you're thinking about them.  We get so caught up in our busy lives that we forget to reach out and let those we care about know how we feel. 

So take a moment, pick up your phone and make that call (yes, an actual call).  Trust me, you'll be glad you did.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Yahoo! Voices Article on a Long-Distance Friendship

I'm excited to share an article I wrote for Yahoo! Voices:

An Ode to My Friend, Mary

Do you have any long-distance friends?  If so, how have you managed to maintain the friendship?

Friday, April 5, 2013

Upcoming Event: Book Signing

If you are in the area, please feel free to attend!

Book signing on April 9th at Desert Camp Community Center from 10 am - 12 pm.  I will be discussing the book, as well as signing copies ($12.95 available for purchase).

Click here for more information

Hope to see you there!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

My...How Communication Has Changed!

Now that I've joined the world of Twitter (@ZangaraNicole), I'm noticing (and learning) a lot about how we communicate and share information.  First of all, when something happens, one must take time to post it on Facebook, write a tweet, put it on Instagram and/or link it to one's blog.  Oh, plus send out an email, text message and possibly make a phone call (but who does that anymore?!).  Is this how we're communicating?  It's exhausting!

Add to these several modes of communication, Twitter only allows you to tweet 140 characters, so you're limited in what you can write...which for some people, may be a good thing (you know who I'm talkin' about).  What I have noticed on Twitter is that some of the tweets are filled with so many hashtags and/or shortened words, that I'm left feeling puzzled about what the tweet is about in the first place!  Am I the only one?!  And what is a hashtag?  I seem to not fully understand Twitter - maybe I'm Twitter-challenged...

It seems we are communicating through all of these sources instead of just having one source.  Remember calling someone and that being the only other form of communication besides seeing this person?  I remember those days!  Now I feel as if I'm trying to keep up or else I'll miss something.  I can only imagine how my parents and their friends feel about the constant changing of technology.  Or am I just getting old?  Wait, don't answer that.

In addition, many of us are so connected to our mobile device that we're staring at that all day, instead of having real-time person to person interaction.  Rather than saying, "I laughed so much last night at so and so's party," we're saying, "Your Facebook post was hysterical!"  What happened to simple communication between two people instead of between everyone, including your mother and probably your third cousin.  It feels chaotic to me.

In all seriousness, I'm starting to wonder how technology and social media are impacting the younger generations and their friendships.  Can we truly get to know our friends through Twitter and Facebook?  Is that the direction we're going - most of our communication/interaction is going to be through social media? 

I believe our friendships are being affected by social media.  I also believe that there are both positive and negative impacts; on one hand, we are able to connect faster and in an easier way through social media.  We can share information in a matter of seconds to a great number of people.  On the other hand, it seems that quality is being substituted for quantity - how many friends one has on Facebook or how many followers one has on Twitter - and so I wonder about the impact this all has on friendships.  Many people would rather share exciting news through Twitter than call a friend - yes, it saves time, but our are friendships suffering due to easier ways of connecting?

What are your thoughts?  If you're a Twitter/Facebook/Instagram user, how often are you on it?  Is that how you keep up with your friends?  How have these modes of communication impacted your friendships?