Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com

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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Friendship Breakups

I want to share an article I was sent by a new(ish) friend.  I have known this woman for quite some time, but only recently got to know her better through spending time with her at a women's expo (see last month's post on women's expo).

In Why Ending A Friendship Is So Much Harder Than Ending A Romantic Relationship, Kat George does a fabulous (and realistic) job pointing out how difficult friendship breakups are, as well as reasons why they are so challenging to experience.  I address these issues in my book, including how similar friendships are to romantic relationships in terms of how close we can get to our friend, and how painful and devastating the breakup can feel.

Below are two excerpts from the article:
 "Over time, all relationships change. Friends come and go, most of them without much ceremony. One minute you’re partying with Irina, and the next minute you’re brunching with Georgia. There’s no hard feelings, but rather a recognition that as you grow up, schedules fill quickly, and long absences from friends aren’t necessarily earth shattering or revelatory. It’s the circle of social life. But what happens when you consciously and dramatically de-friend someone that was especially close to you is absolutely cataclysmic. When that one person, your BFF perhaps, to whom you text every mundanity of your every day life, who knows you inside and out, whose side you are always by, betrays you, hurts you, or otherwise removes themselves from your life in some very obvious capacity, it can be more destructive that the loss of any romantic partner you’ve ever experienced."

"At the end of a relationship, “getting back on the horse” is one of the best and most helpful things you can do. Starting to date again can be scary, but it’s also wildly fun and at least very distracting. Finding a new friend is not that easy. People just don’t prioritize “new friends” the way they did when they were younger, so between existing friends, personal relationships and careers, it can be very difficult to meet a new potential BFF. There’s no OKCupid for friendship." 

Friendship breakups are emotionally tough and that's why it's incredibly important to give yourself time to grieve and process all of your emotions.  In my book, I go into more depth about letting go, and helpful ways to do so.

How have you managed a friendship breakup? 

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