Making friends is Tough (yes, with a
capital T), especially as you get older. Maybe you relocated for a job or
moved to be closer to family and find it difficult to create your social
network. As we age, there are not as many social opportunities there once
was - like those organized events in high school, college and/or graduate
school which provide access to meeting people - and so it becomes more
challenging to make new friends without it being forced or awkward. It's
important to "get out there" - but how?!
I've been asked this question - and have asked it myself many, many times - because it's not like you can
walk into the grocery store and start asking people if they will be your
friend. They may run away from you or tell you to go to your nearest emergency
room.
A common emotion that tends to get
in the way of putting yourself out there is fear – there’s always a possibility
of being rejected or not getting the response you'd hoped for – but if you
don't try, then how do you expect things to change?
I believe it's about creating
opportunities out of what you have and already do in your day to day
life. I completely understand that it can be daunting, but when you put
yourself out there and get back positive results, it can be rewarding and
provide reinforcement to continue this behavior. Therefore, I have found
that you have to put yourself out there in small and realistic ways.
For example, you attend a gym and start striking up conversations with other
gym-goers. It wouldn't be so weird or awkward to ask if they wanted to go
out for coffee or grab a bite to eat after a workout. Or maybe, suggest
that you all go for a walk or hike outside of the gym. Over time, these
activities bond you, and hopefully a friendship develops.
Have you had an experience where you
put yourself out there and created a friendship out of interesting
circumstances? Think about how you met some of your current friends – was
it through a spontaneous interaction or through an organized event?
I am pretty boring with friends- mostly I still hang out with friends from high school, college and my current job that I've had for 7 years now, so I've made some good friends there. However, one cool way I have made friends is through blogging. I have good friends in different cities now and many of them I have met in person- I even attended a wedding this summer in Vancouver for a friend I met through blogging. That has been a cool way for me to expand my social circle out of the Boston area. I know some people who write blogs do meet ups and stuff in their current area so that could be a cool way to meet people, even if you are just a blog reader and comment on other people's blogs.
ReplyDeleteI read this post with interest, and began pondering how I've made some great friends. The most wonderful and magical friendships I've made have been when I've volunteered and "put myself out there" to help someone else.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I've never volunteered for that reason (getting something in return), the end result was finding like-minded people with similar interests and passions. What could be better? Not only did I help someone else somewhere, I ended up with some fantastic friends as a bonus. Karma, indeed.
I am the kind of individual who seizes the moment. There are windows of opportunity that many people let slide. I was recently on a plane for 5 hours. I took my seat and there was a woman who I immediately felt a connection with. I decided to embrace the moment. We started to talk and before we knew it, the plane ride was over. We learned that we had a lot in common. She has a set of twins as I do down to the unusual way we met our husbands. She is truly a woman I could see having a special relationship with. This would not have happened had I not taken the risk.
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