Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

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Monday, November 5, 2012

Why Was I Not Invited? Wedding Drama...

For some of you, this topic may be hard to identify with - but for many of us, this does happen and isn't something we openly discuss: When you're not invited to your friend's and/or friends' child's wedding.

I recently heard a story about a few women whose friend's adult son got married and the women weren't invited.  Suffice it to say, they are feeling hurt and one of them even feels as if she's done with a friendship that has spanned more than 20 years - all because she wasn't invited.  Weddings are supposed to be happy and wonderful, but why can so much drama come out of what's supposed to be a beautiful event?

I understand there are exceptions to this – for example, some are limited financially and cannot have a big wedding and therefore, cannot invite everyone.  A couple of years ago, one of my friend's let me know that I was not invited for this very reason and I respect her now more than ever for being honest with me, rather than having me think things that weren't true: that she didn't think of me as a close friend or didn't think of me enough to invite to her wedding.  Since then, our friendship has deepened and because of the honesty in our friendship, I don't think twice about not being invited nor harbor any ill feelings about it.

But for those of us who aren't invited and are not given any reason, it can be challenging to manage our feelings.  And then how do we continue the friendship as if nothing happened?  It becomes a big elephant in the room, especially if this friend posts a gazillion pictures on Facebook and talks to you about her wedding.  Or the friend calls you up and discusses her son's/daughter's wedding.  Uh, hello, you weren't there!

Another kicker to this situation is when you're invited to the engagement party and/or bridal shower, but not invited to the wedding.  Maybe I'm slow to understand things, but how does that make any sense?!

Have you experienced any of the above situations?  If so, how did you manage it and your feelings?  Did your friendship change? 

1 comment:

  1. I definitely think you are right that honesty is the best policy with this kind of thing. I think it's worse if you have an expectation of being invited and aren't- especially if that expectation is because you were invited to a shower or engagement party!

    For me, how it would affect the friendship would really depend on the situation. If the person was honest, I don't think it would but in a different case it may. It's a tough situation!