For some of you, this topic may be
hard to identify with - but for many of us, this does happen and isn't
something we openly discuss: When you're not invited to your friend's and/or
friends' child's wedding.
I recently heard a story
about a few women whose friend's adult son got married and the women
weren't invited. Suffice it to say, they are feeling hurt and one of them
even feels as if she's done with a friendship that has spanned more than 20
years - all because she wasn't invited. Weddings are supposed to be happy and wonderful, but why can so
much drama come out of what's supposed to be a beautiful event?
I understand there are exceptions to
this – for example, some are limited financially and cannot have a big wedding
and therefore, cannot invite everyone. A couple of years ago, one of my
friend's let me know that I was not invited for this very reason and I respect
her now more than ever for being honest with me, rather than having me think
things that weren't true: that she didn't think of me as a close friend or
didn't think of me enough to invite to her wedding. Since then, our
friendship has deepened and because of the honesty in our friendship, I don't
think twice about not being invited nor harbor any ill feelings about it.
But for those of us who aren't
invited and are not given any reason, it can be challenging to manage our
feelings. And then how do we continue the friendship as if nothing
happened? It becomes a big elephant in the room, especially if this friend
posts a gazillion pictures on Facebook and talks to you about her
wedding. Or the friend calls you up and discusses her son's/daughter's
wedding. Uh, hello, you weren't there!
Another kicker to this situation is
when you're invited to the engagement party and/or bridal shower, but not
invited to the wedding. Maybe I'm slow to understand things, but how does
that make any sense?!
Have you experienced any of the above
situations? If so, how did you manage it and your feelings? Did
your friendship change?
I definitely think you are right that honesty is the best policy with this kind of thing. I think it's worse if you have an expectation of being invited and aren't- especially if that expectation is because you were invited to a shower or engagement party!
ReplyDeleteFor me, how it would affect the friendship would really depend on the situation. If the person was honest, I don't think it would but in a different case it may. It's a tough situation!