"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom."
~Marcel Proust
Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!
Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com
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Monday, December 24, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Long-Distance Friendships
Does the heart grow fonder with distance? I've found that it's
unlikely for friendships to blossom and become stronger with distance; I've experienced many long-distance friendships that wavered
and ultimately crumbled over time. It's sad, yet life happens, we get busy and
so it's not unusual for our long-distance friends to be the ones who are
let go first. It's not good or bad; it simply is (a common phrase my Mother uses).
However, I have a couple of friends with whom the friendship deepened with distance; it's because we both put in the time and effort to keep up with one another, and to make sure we're including one another the best we can. Is it difficult? Yes. But I wouldn't have it any other way because these friendships mean the world to me and I could not imagine my life without these people in it.
It definitely takes a certain person to maintain a long-distance friendship: you have to enjoy e-mailing, texting, Skyping and/or talking on the phone. Some people I know dislike talking on the phone, so that may prove difficult for those who don't have other options. You also have to be okay with not knowing every detail of your friend's life, such that you're most likely not involved in the day to day things because that would be extremely time consuming and difficult to explain - for example, have you tried telling someone a story who wasn't there and she doesn't get it? It's one of those, "You had to have been there to understand!" type of stories that are challenging to share with someone who clearly wasn't there.
On the other hand, some of you enjoy long-distance friendships because when you do talk, you are able to re-connect and get caught up on each other's lives. And it can feel great to have those positive moments with a friend when your world is feeling a little upside down. It truly depends on the type of person you are and how you maintain your friendships, both around you and from afar.
What's been your experience with long-distance friendships? Have they been positive, negative or both?
However, I have a couple of friends with whom the friendship deepened with distance; it's because we both put in the time and effort to keep up with one another, and to make sure we're including one another the best we can. Is it difficult? Yes. But I wouldn't have it any other way because these friendships mean the world to me and I could not imagine my life without these people in it.
It definitely takes a certain person to maintain a long-distance friendship: you have to enjoy e-mailing, texting, Skyping and/or talking on the phone. Some people I know dislike talking on the phone, so that may prove difficult for those who don't have other options. You also have to be okay with not knowing every detail of your friend's life, such that you're most likely not involved in the day to day things because that would be extremely time consuming and difficult to explain - for example, have you tried telling someone a story who wasn't there and she doesn't get it? It's one of those, "You had to have been there to understand!" type of stories that are challenging to share with someone who clearly wasn't there.
On the other hand, some of you enjoy long-distance friendships because when you do talk, you are able to re-connect and get caught up on each other's lives. And it can feel great to have those positive moments with a friend when your world is feeling a little upside down. It truly depends on the type of person you are and how you maintain your friendships, both around you and from afar.
What's been your experience with long-distance friendships? Have they been positive, negative or both?
Monday, December 10, 2012
Study on Friendship
After
spending some time on Google and searching for articles on
friendship, I came across this one on the power and benefits of female
friendship:
UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women by Gale Berkowitz
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the findings?
UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women by Gale Berkowitz
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with the findings?
Monday, December 3, 2012
Reunions
I was recently asked to do a blog post about reunions and what purpose they serve (thanks, Kelly!), so here goes...
Did you ever see Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion? Below is the trailer:
I remember watching this movie in early adolescence - it was funny, yet it also led me to wonder about my own high school reunion. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend my 10 year high school reunion - the following morning, I left for a hiking trip at the Grand Canyon. However, I'll be honest and say that a part of me had no interest in going. Yes, I said it.
The whole idea of reunions is an interesting topic, especially how it relates to female friendships. Reunions can trigger old feelings (good, bad and downright ugly) from earlier years. We feel as if we have to show our "best" selves and seem we're doing amazing, even if that's not really true. Maybe we weren't in the popular crowd, and so we have some feelings about running into certain people who made our life horrible during those awkward adolescent years. We may even prepare in extreme ways for the reunion by dieting, working out and/or getting a makeover (see above movie). It is one night of our life, but can cause some major anxiety and fears.
I didn't have much desire to attend my high school reunion due to feeling it wouldn't provide any real purpose for me, especially since I do not live in that state nor remain close with anyone from high school. Thus, it didn't feel worth the time and money to fly back to the east coast for one night where there would probably be superficial conversation and uncomfortable silence. But that's me, and I realize not all of you feel this way. Although, since the book came out, I've re-connected with one friend from high school (I wrote about her in the book), so that's been a positive outcome.
Some people enjoy seeing where their classmates are living and what they're up to; the purpose is to get caught up with everyone. However, I think high school reunions are similar to Facebook - you get updates but nothing really happens past that. If you don't keep in touch with those from high school and don't live in the same state, it's hard to maintain a friendship that you haven't for the past 10 or so years. Maybe you disagree.
For those of you who have kept in touch with your friends from high school, then my guess is that you're planning on or already have attended your high school reunion. It'll probably be more fun for you and have a greater purpose since there's a connection with the people there.
Did you attend your high school reunion? Was it what you imagined or completely different? Did you leave feeling closer to anyone?
Did you ever see Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion? Below is the trailer:
I remember watching this movie in early adolescence - it was funny, yet it also led me to wonder about my own high school reunion. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend my 10 year high school reunion - the following morning, I left for a hiking trip at the Grand Canyon. However, I'll be honest and say that a part of me had no interest in going. Yes, I said it.
The whole idea of reunions is an interesting topic, especially how it relates to female friendships. Reunions can trigger old feelings (good, bad and downright ugly) from earlier years. We feel as if we have to show our "best" selves and seem we're doing amazing, even if that's not really true. Maybe we weren't in the popular crowd, and so we have some feelings about running into certain people who made our life horrible during those awkward adolescent years. We may even prepare in extreme ways for the reunion by dieting, working out and/or getting a makeover (see above movie). It is one night of our life, but can cause some major anxiety and fears.
I didn't have much desire to attend my high school reunion due to feeling it wouldn't provide any real purpose for me, especially since I do not live in that state nor remain close with anyone from high school. Thus, it didn't feel worth the time and money to fly back to the east coast for one night where there would probably be superficial conversation and uncomfortable silence. But that's me, and I realize not all of you feel this way. Although, since the book came out, I've re-connected with one friend from high school (I wrote about her in the book), so that's been a positive outcome.
Some people enjoy seeing where their classmates are living and what they're up to; the purpose is to get caught up with everyone. However, I think high school reunions are similar to Facebook - you get updates but nothing really happens past that. If you don't keep in touch with those from high school and don't live in the same state, it's hard to maintain a friendship that you haven't for the past 10 or so years. Maybe you disagree.
For those of you who have kept in touch with your friends from high school, then my guess is that you're planning on or already have attended your high school reunion. It'll probably be more fun for you and have a greater purpose since there's a connection with the people there.
Did you attend your high school reunion? Was it what you imagined or completely different? Did you leave feeling closer to anyone?
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Exciting News!
The book is now available in print, as well as ebook.
Available at:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Happy reading!
Available at:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Happy reading!
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