Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!
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Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Awkward Situations in Friendships
This happened to me a few years ago; I met one of my friend's friends from her graduate program. I really did not like them, but I had to find a way to move past those feelings and be nice; I felt my friend deserved that from me. However, it took a lot of super human strength not to react to certain comments these women would say, and on top of that, not to say something to my friend. I was surprised that my friend was hanging out with these women - not simply because she attended class with them, but because she chose to spend time with them outside of class. I found these women superficial and judgmental - qualities that I didn't see in my friend. But how do you tell your friend that? Enter ridiculously awkward and painful conversation...no thank you!
In this situation, I'm not too sure you can say anything; it really depends on the friendship. Unless you are 100% sure of your friendship, your BFF could feel hurt and then be left with not knowing how to handle social situations because if she invites her friends, that will include these people...and now she knows how you really feel. The friend is put in a bad spot because now that she knows how you feel, that may limit what she plans and who she invites. Thus, you may end up seeing her less or being invited to events less over time. Or she may try to balance out her time and make plans to see you minus those friends-we-shall-not-speak-of.
There's no easy way to handle this type of situation. As adults, we try to be mature and get along with everyone, but come on, it's hard to do! Imagine your BFF telling you she doesn't like your school/work/gym/mommy friends...how would you react?
What's been your experience with this? Have you ever told your friend you don't like her friends? If so, what did that conversation look like and how did it go? Did it help or hurt the friendship?