I often wonder about what guidelines we use to define
"friend" versus "best friend" and how easily these terms can be thrown
around. To call someone my friend, she's more of an acquaintance, and
someone with whom I feel close and can trust. To call someone my best
friend, there is a more defined history and a priority put on the
friendship, as well as an intense connection that usually cannot be
explained through words. However, I believe we all have our different
ways of defining these terms.
And as we all know, friendships change over time, so our
best friend may be put back in the friend category due to various
circumstances (she moves and so the friendship changes or she becomes
busy and get togethers seem to decrease); on the flip side, a friend may
quickly become a best friend after, for example, experiencing a similar
event (both getting pregnant around the same time, being in the same
professional career, going to kick boxing class each week, etc.). It's
interesting to see how fluid friendships can be, and how we should learn
to be grateful for those who are in our lives now versus who should be
being a better friend or best friend.
Furthermore, at what point do we call someone our best
friend? Do we tell this person that she's now our BFF? Do we bring her
balloons and say, "Congrats, you are officially my new BFF!" Probably
not! More than likely, we don't have this conversation because it's not
done through words; it's done through quality time, connection and
trust. Same with someone who goes from being your BFF to friend status -
does she get demoted? It's funny how these things happen so often, but
are not openly talked about. Plus, for everyone, this process is
different.
What are your thoughts? How do you define "friend" and "best friend"?
Haha, I need to get myself some BFF balloons :)
ReplyDeleteAs you said, I don't tend to label my friends and people can move around a bit. I have one solid best friend, she's been my best friend for probably 9 or 10 years now...but I have a few other best friends that have been mostly consistent as well. I even have some more recent best friends, one or two that again I wouldn't call that but I spend a lot of time with them and tell them a lot- so i guess thats part of how I define it, what I'm willing to tell :)
Thanks, Kelly! You should get some BFF balloons ;-)
DeleteI really liked this post, Nicole! I am not really into labels, but I would say you know who your best friend is if you would feature her as Maid of Honor at your wedding. But then, like you said, friendships are constantly changing, and some women might make their sister their Maid of Honor...I tend to say, "So and so is ONE OF my best friends," and I base the term "best friend" based on time spent together, how much of each other's lives you know and how often you talk to each other. Great thought-provoking post, as always! I love your blog! :-), Nicki
ReplyDeleteThanks, Nicki! I agree with what you wrote and how you define "best friend". :-)
Delete