Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com

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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Gifts and Friendship

In an older post, I discussed holiday gifts and friendship.  I have come across another dicey gift/friend situation: a friend has an event (baby shower, wedding engagement, etc.) coming up, and so the question is how much to spend on this person?  Now, if you're close with this friend, it's a no brainer: you get her a nice gift and attend the event.  Duh!

However, if it's someone with whom you're not that close, what do you do?  And how much is enough for someone you're not that close to?  Do you spend $25 and/or get something on her registry and apologize profusely for not being able to make it (because you don't want to)?  Or do you over-compensate and spend more money because you feel guilty for not going (again, because you don't want to)?  Hmmmm...awkward!

This is a tough situation.  A gift should be appreciated no matter what the value, right?  Yes.  But we all have those friends, er, acquaintances, who we're not sure what to get and/or how much to spend on them.  Maybe it's your co-worker who you're not super close to, but you feel obligated to buy her something for her baby shower.  Maybe it's your friend's other BFF who you can't stand but feel it would hurt your friend if you didn't attend the event.  Oy!  Such dilemmas we face!

It makes it difficult when you're not that close with the person who invited you; what's even worse is wondering why the person invited you in the first place.   On the one hand, it was nice that you got invited, but on the other hand, does the person really think you're going to attend?  The invite may have been out of common courtesy, yet it still leaves us in a precarious situation.

In all seriousness, it can get awkward when we're not that close with the person.  How do you handle this situation?  Do you get a gift and go to the event and/or do you kindly decline?


  1. I've thought about this a lot recently because I've been trying to say no more often so I don't end up with a bunch of obligations! I have been trying in particular to say no in these kinds of situations- I still buy a gift and send it or give it in person- I spend about the same amount, but I jsut don't attend the event. If it's an actual friend, I'll go- and if it's a close friend, I'll obviously go and spend more :)