Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com

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Monday, July 23, 2012

Examining Differences in Friendship

Every now and then, I look at those around me and wonder about the similarities and differences between myself and my friends.  Those I’ve known for a long time, there are many similarities due to shared experiences.  However, there are also differences when looking at personalities, career choices and life stages.

Regarding personality, some of my friends are more shy, while others are more outgoing.  Several have a career unlike mine, which makes conversation and the process of getting to know them fascinating as I learn about what they do day to day.  A few are engaged and/or married, so there are differences in terms of how we live our lives and what decisions we are making.  Oftentimes, these differences have added substance to the friendship, while other times, they have created barriers.  Why is that? 

Does it affect the friendship if one person is a lawyer and the other is a stay at home mom?  Does it matter if one person is getting a divorce while the other is getting married?  It’s interesting how these differences can either disrupt the friendship or make it stronger.

I’ve often heard women say that a friendship ended because they were “just too many differences” and they could not get on the same page.  Their lives were going in two separate directions.  Why, for some, does that not matter, but for others, it causes the friendship to end?

I wonder if it comes down to the type of friendship (how long you’ve been friends, how close you are, etc.), and how much you both want to invest in keeping it alive.  It takes work, that’s for sure, but sometimes we let the differences become an excuse for the friendship to fizzle out if our heart is not fully in it.

Thus, the question remains: do the differences outweigh the similarities or can friendship love conquer all?

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