Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com

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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Family and Friendships

A woman recently asked if I address mother/daughter relationships in the book – I told her I don’t, yet the more I thought about it, I began to think about my mother and the importance of that relationship, as well as how it connects to female friendships.

As I’ve grown, my mother has turned into one of my best friends, which is a natural progression when children become adults; your parents become your friends.  Some of you may disagree – it all depends on the type of relationship you have with your mother.
I’ve been lucky in that my mother has provided me with a stable foundation for my own friendships.  She has taught me trust, respect and love – qualities that are also important in a friendship.  Through the good and bad, I have gone to my mother for guidance, and even when she says what I don’t want to hear, in the end, she’s usually right.  She’s my wise friend and someone with whom I can be myself and not feel judged.

Through my mother, I’ve been able to survive many female friendships that have ended without reason or talk through situations that I haven’t known how to handle.  It’s helped to have her in my corner; in a way, she’s my personal “friendship guru” – helping me to navigate the ups and downs of my own relationships.

Actually, looking back at many significant life events, my mother is the first person I call to share the news.  After talking with her, then I call my friends.  It’s interesting when I think about this relationship and how vital it is in my life.
Another special family relationship that I haven’t experienced is the power of the sister bond; I remember wishing I had a sister when I was younger - having two brothers didn’t exactly help when I wanted to play with my Barbie dolls.  When I see sisters who are close and seem to be best friends, it’s a special connection that only they share and understand.  It's a life-long friendship that continues to deepen; even through distance, I know sisters who talk daily and/or make it a priority to see each other.

Think about those closest in your life – is a parent or sibling one of them?  Who do you call when you want to share exciting news?  When you need to sort out a difficult decision?  If it’s not your mother or sister, maybe it’s your father or even your aunt, uncle, cousin…the list could go on and on.  We sometimes forget that these people are not just family, but also our greatest friends!

1 comment:

  1. I feel fortunate to agree with your comment, "As I’ve grown, my mother has turned into one of my best friends" and that is equally true of my relationship with my father. Although, it has felt like a natural progression for me as well, I realize that the way my relationship has evolved with my parents from childhood to adulthood is a result of a strong mutual respect and in some cases conscious effort. I value my parents' opinions and I appreciate their experience, so I often solicit their insight and feedback. At the same time, my parents respect me as an independent adult and they wait for me to ask for their opinions without doling out advice. Likewise, they show me they value me when they ask me for my opinion and input. And like any strong relationship, ours is based on honesty and strong communication. I can only hope that one day my daughter feels the same way about my husband and about me, the way I feel about my parents.