A Lesson I Have Learned About Friendship

I want to share something I have learned throughout my 29 years of friendship experiences: If I am working harder at the friendship than my friend is, the friendship either needs to be re-evaluated or it’s time to put that friend in a different category.  Or rather, the friend needs to be put in the back row (from the poem I include in the book titled Everyone Can’t Be in Your Front Row). 

Harsh?  Maybe.  But how many of you feel as though you’re putting in more effort than your friend is and it just doesn’t seem worthwhile to continue this unhealthy dynamic?  I believe this is a different conversation than the topic on expectations and understanding that not all of your friends can meet all of your needs (as I address in the book).  This topic is more about you feeling as though the friendship is unequal, and becomes more difficult to maintain if you’re not the one reaching out or initiating plans.  It can become exhausting and not at all what a healthy friendship is supposed to look and feel like for anyone.  We all go through ups and downs, and so do our friendships; however, no one should feel she’s working harder than her friend.  Friendship isn’t a job, so it shouldn’t feel like one! 

Have you learned this lesson – if yes, how so?  Or do you simply put this friend in a different category and move on? 

Friends and Travel

I was recently at the airport for many, many hours – actually, to be accurate, it was two airports due to connecting flights and having delays and problems with the plane (thankfully, all was resolved).  I've done enough travelling in my life, so I can confidently state that flying can be an interesting experience due to who you'll see (I enjoy people watching) and who you'll meet. 

Inevitably when I travel, I start talking to others around me.  Especially sitting in the airport or on a plane for hours, it's easy to strike up a conversation with the person next to you.  Whether it's about what you both do for a living or about your families, sometimes you find you've spoken to this person for the entire plane ride.  Some of you may even exchange contact information and discuss getting together for a drink or meal – outside of the airport, of course – if you live in the same city or part of town.  We're complete strangers when we walk into the airport and onto the plane, but can leave the airport with a new acquaintance who may even become a friend. 

 

Although it’s important to note that there are some people who look like they don't want to be bothered – so I also think it depends on what type of person you are and how you interact with strangers.  I will admit that there are times when I don’t feel like engaging in conversation (especially if I haven’t had my cup of coffee yet) or want to listen to my iPod – it all just depends.

Do you have any interesting or comical airport/airplane stories about people you’ve met?  Can you remember any situations in which you found yourself sharing more information with a complete stranger and/or found a connection between you two?

Friendship Quotes of the Week

Below are some of my favorite lines from Sex & The City regarding friendship:

“No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.”

“They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.”

“After all, seasons change, so do cities; people come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.”

 

The Power of Inside Jokes

I love to laugh; it’s one of the best feelings in the world.  When you experience a moment with a friend – something funny is said or you both witness something humorous – it becomes a cherished inside joke.  It reconnects you two and allows you to re-live a hilarious or memorable experience.

It also provides a moment that only you two can truly understand.  If you try to explain it to someone else, it’s usually not as funny or is too complicated.  Have you tried explaining an inside joke?!  I usually get weird looks or “I don’t get it” responses.

Think about your friends – are there specific moments that cause you to laugh when just thinking about them?   Is there a phrase you tell a friend that has a certain meaning only you two know?