Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!

Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Value of Your Words

We've all been there: a friend tells us she will do something, and then she doesn't follow through.  On the one hand, I completely understand; we say we'll do something and then we forget or just can't seem to find the time to do what we said.  On the other hand, I'm going to be honest and say that sometimes it bothers me.  Whew - I said it!

What gets me into trouble is that if you tell me you're going to do something, I believe you.  For example, if we're talking on the phone and you tell me that you're getting another call and you'll call back, I believe you.  Or if you say you'll meet me for coffee at 3 pm, I assume we will see each other then.  I find the value of words to be extremely important, so when I tell someone I'm going to do something, I will try everything in my power to do so.  Maybe I'm weird (don't answer that) or invest too much in what people say.  Who knows, but promises hold meaning.  In my mind, why would someone promise or commit to something that she has no intention on fulfilling?  I have a hard time accepting false promises, especially in my friendships.

Which brings me to my next point about people who are considered "flaky" and seem to have a difficult time following through on what they say.  I have a challenging time being friends with someone like that.  Even though she may be the sweetest gal on the earth, if she can't commit to her word, it's frustrating and can lead to feeling disappointed over and over again.

It's important to have patience with your friends and be aware of your expectations, but it's also important to feel as if your friends are respecting you.  It's a fine line.

Have you experienced this in your friendships?  If so, how do you manage it?  Am I being too harsh?


  1. Yes, I agree. I have one or two flakey friends, but they are not close friends for the reason that I have very little patience for people who are ALWAYS flakey- I understand once or twice but not often. Also, at the very least if you said you are going to do something and then can't, at least tell me, don't just not show up/not call back etc. I put a lot of pressure on myself to follow through so I expect others to do the same, when possible :)

  2. You can't take friends not following through personally. I would almost guarantee your friend never not follows through because they're trying to hurt you -- they're just most concerned with helping themselves in that moment. That's when you should evaluate whether or not you're willing to be friends with someone who doesn't value your time or energy. A good friend shows you they value you in countless ways and will make up for it if they let you down.