"Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may
not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
~Albert Camus
Ever since the book came out, I've received feedback about how it's made women think about friendships throughout their lives, as well as who is in their lives now. The goal of this blog is to open up and create a dialogue about friendships: the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Each week I will post my thoughts, experiences, as well as various articles, topics or quotes that I feel are important when examining female friendships. Please feel free to leave comments; I look forward to hearing from you!
Email me: survivingfemalefriendships@gmail.com
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Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Friendship Article
I recently read an article called Not every woman has a strong unit of female friends. It's time to stop feeling guilty about it by Rebecca Holman. I address how the media can portray unrealistic female friendships in my book, so I felt the article did a fabulous job of exploring this topic.
An excerpt from the article:
"For one thing, plenty of women simply don’t have the time – one of the most unrealistic elements of Sex and the City (more unrealistic than Carrie’s beautiful apartment and ridonkulous wardrobe on a writer’s salary) was the idea that four friends with busy careers, relationships, and later children, still found the time to meet up several times a week and talk on the phone several times a day. Some women find it easier to form friendships with men, and for some women, making friends, or negotiating the tricky relationship politics between women just isn’t that easy."
I agree with Rebecca and also focus on Sex and The City in my book, as I feel it creates an expectation that all women should have friends who they see and talk to almost daily. However, how realistic is that? Yes, it would be fabulous to meet up for brunch on a whim and to chat for hours on end, but in real life (you know, what you wake up to each morning?), it's just not that simple!
What do you think? Does the media (television, movies, magazines, etc.) influence how you view friendships and/or impact your expectations of your friendships?
An excerpt from the article:
"For one thing, plenty of women simply don’t have the time – one of the most unrealistic elements of Sex and the City (more unrealistic than Carrie’s beautiful apartment and ridonkulous wardrobe on a writer’s salary) was the idea that four friends with busy careers, relationships, and later children, still found the time to meet up several times a week and talk on the phone several times a day. Some women find it easier to form friendships with men, and for some women, making friends, or negotiating the tricky relationship politics between women just isn’t that easy."
I agree with Rebecca and also focus on Sex and The City in my book, as I feel it creates an expectation that all women should have friends who they see and talk to almost daily. However, how realistic is that? Yes, it would be fabulous to meet up for brunch on a whim and to chat for hours on end, but in real life (you know, what you wake up to each morning?), it's just not that simple!
What do you think? Does the media (television, movies, magazines, etc.) influence how you view friendships and/or impact your expectations of your friendships?
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Gifts and Friendship
In an older post, I discussed holiday gifts and friendship. I have
come across another dicey gift/friend situation: a friend has an event
(baby shower, wedding engagement, etc.) coming up, and so the question is
how much to spend on this person? Now, if you're close with this
friend, it's a no brainer: you get her a nice gift and attend the
event. Duh!
However, if it's someone with whom you're not that close, what do you do? And how much is enough for someone you're not that close to? Do you spend $25 and/or get something on her registry and apologize profusely for not being able to make it (because you don't want to)? Or do you over-compensate and spend more money because you feel guilty for not going (again, because you don't want to)? Hmmmm...awkward!
This is a tough situation. A gift should be appreciated no matter what the value, right? Yes. But we all have those friends, er, acquaintances, who we're not sure what to get and/or how much to spend on them. Maybe it's your co-worker who you're not super close to, but you feel obligated to buy her something for her baby shower. Maybe it's your friend's other BFF who you can't stand but feel it would hurt your friend if you didn't attend the event. Oy! Such dilemmas we face!
It makes it difficult when you're not that close with the person who invited you; what's even worse is wondering why the person invited you in the first place. On the one hand, it was nice that you got invited, but on the other hand, does the person really think you're going to attend? The invite may have been out of common courtesy, yet it still leaves us in a precarious situation.
In all seriousness, it can get awkward when we're not that close with the person. How do you handle this situation? Do you get a gift and go to the event and/or do you kindly decline?
However, if it's someone with whom you're not that close, what do you do? And how much is enough for someone you're not that close to? Do you spend $25 and/or get something on her registry and apologize profusely for not being able to make it (because you don't want to)? Or do you over-compensate and spend more money because you feel guilty for not going (again, because you don't want to)? Hmmmm...awkward!
This is a tough situation. A gift should be appreciated no matter what the value, right? Yes. But we all have those friends, er, acquaintances, who we're not sure what to get and/or how much to spend on them. Maybe it's your co-worker who you're not super close to, but you feel obligated to buy her something for her baby shower. Maybe it's your friend's other BFF who you can't stand but feel it would hurt your friend if you didn't attend the event. Oy! Such dilemmas we face!
It makes it difficult when you're not that close with the person who invited you; what's even worse is wondering why the person invited you in the first place. On the one hand, it was nice that you got invited, but on the other hand, does the person really think you're going to attend? The invite may have been out of common courtesy, yet it still leaves us in a precarious situation.
In all seriousness, it can get awkward when we're not that close with the person. How do you handle this situation? Do you get a gift and go to the event and/or do you kindly decline?
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